I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.

Life goes on.. whether you choose to move on and take a chance in the unknown. Or stay behind, locked in the past, thinking of what could've been.

I'm trying.

Love,

I don't know what's going on with me. Some months ago I was drowning myself in self-pity, I didn't think I would ever be happy again. It is weird how some things can change so fast, and I don't even know when and how it happend. The one morning I woke up with the wish that I wouldn't the next morning, but now I have something to wake up for again.. I guess? And I didn't see it coming at all. Maybe it won't last forever? I'm scared, although I remember you always said to me that being scared is okay. Am I scared that she won't feel the same? Not really to be honest. I'm scared that I'll lose her someday, just like I lost you. Maybe I'm cursed. Yeah, that must be it. Everyone around me gets in trouble. I don't want her to get in trouble, she doesn't deserve that. She is so gentle, sweet and beautiful, she deserves someone that can make her happy. Truly happy. And I don't know if I can do that. I have a past, a past I'm not always that proud of.

And now it's Christmas morning. I remember your words like an echo in my head.Christmas is the day that holds time together. You always had your quotes ready, didn't you? Ghehe.
Merry Christmas, Jane.

I think I'd better go now, someone is waiting for me..

Love,